Magic powers, abilities, Wizards, disabilities,

Almost everytime I see a movie or read a book about super power or magic, I always think disability. Maybe this is odd, I routinely wonder if it has to do with the first book I ever remember reading by myself was the Wizard of Oz series and the idea I was doing something I wasn't supposed to be doing was truely magical. To this day everytime I read a book there is a part of me that says HAHAHAHHAHA I am not supposed to be able to do this and in that there is a certain magic. That ability to both know you don't read how other people read, that when you describe your process people look at you like you are mad, but also that the fact that it is someways magic.

I have often felt that dyslexic/ADHD kids see things others don't maybe a magical world that one thing can take you on a new adventure.. I always talk about thinking in pictures or images that lead to another. I don't know how to describe it, it is kinda how the HBO movie Temple Gradin see how she says if you say door you see a billion doors in like a polarod, I instead see one so like you say door and I see my back door everytime you see door or if you say a persons name I see one picture of them that everytime you say that name I see that same pose and that leads to another picture. It is often in my head a sense of movement but stationary and that which is stationary I can see moveing. I find a lot of the difference I do and see cause of my disability to be a power of sorts... and I see like almost every movie with magic or powers has it comes with responsibility, strugles, pain and weaknesses.  I would say there is definatly that I see much responsibility with being a successful LD professional a responsibility to show that you can do it but also to intigrate my disability as something that is importatnt ot me and part of my idenitiy. Also trying to explain it cause you are in a place of power to say, "you know what this person is reacting to and how incredably ableist you are being right now"  There are struggles mainly when I get lost or can't type in the right password or get confused or pass out, those times your disability does something you can't control other then the way you react to it.  Pain I am not going to lie there is a certain pain that comes from bad disability days or an ableist society that says you are stupid and dumb. There are weeknesses one of mine is spelling, sometimes I think it is the thing that shows that I am not faking, sometimes I think the weekness is I just don't care about it cause I don't think it is important and don't take the time to understand why it can be sooo important exspecially to people who use speech to text software.

Anyways back to the wizard of Oz, Ozma was being kept by a witch for who she was downtroden and sad, those emotions of lose and desperation and a sense of something more was something I was feeling about myself when I was reading it. The fact that she could use the same things that were making her a prisoner to make her a powerful ruler. What I will say good books and movies don't talk about losing pain sometimes the books like Terry Goodkind or Mercedes Lackey talk about a price you pay for magic a price you pay for power or in percy jackson the power makes you also bad at things not a price but that  there is sorta an evening out. I routinely see that imagery of bad a supercrip is a bad image in disability culture, because it is showing that you are completely overcoming something and now that cripness isn't a part of you. Cripness as much as I can pass is always a part of me it oozes out from me sometimes when least expected both good and bad most of everything good and bad comes from it. If we look at that idea that price, that death and destruction that comes from some kind of power why wouldn't there always be two sides of the coin. I for as long as I can remember have loved those types of books and movies the one that at the end of it makes you feel you can save the world. Also for me reading the book the act of reading always tells me with figuring your way around, through and new you can do it. I routinely say disability was my entrence into a world of social justice I might have other oppressed idenities but disability is something I have to think of constantly cause I am constantly aware of the ways I see the world is different then others and in that I think comes my biggest strength.


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