Community and humor

So I talk about disability a lot the joys the pains. I guess this blog is kind of a non chronological diary of sorts. So when I think of comunity of disability I think of a room at Michigan State with 30 people with disabilities, the first time I meet my couple high school friends who were LD, and I think of a friend of mine with one arm who danced and swam in high school. Until high school disability was something I was affraid of, embarased of, and thought the whole world was something that would never be able to get me. Then I meet people who had disabilities and were nonappologetic, like I was slowly becoming. I started to here disability jokes of people laughing about rolling over people with wheelchairs and laughing at their own mistakes. All of a sudden a world opened up for me. I was mainstreamed my entire life, I went to handwriting camp when I was little but until high school and college I never felt I was understood. I was passing, I was passing into a world where I felt I couldn't be myself.

When I started to understand my own disability through a paper in middle school it was like the possibilities of the world were opened up. It wasn't untill I meet people with disabilities that I truely became me. I felt at home. I started to see beauty in it again, acknowledging the disability wasn't bad again in middle school was step 1. Being involved with a couple people I could talk disability with was step 2, I never felt more accepted then the first time I saw my friends holloween costume where she was biting her prostetic and her stub was all bloody. It is wierd I find seeing people with physical disabilities embrace their phisical presence as something that alows me to accept my own invisible disability. It is silly maybe but that visual performance of disability makes me feel not alone and I always wonder if my joyous excitement at seeing people with phyiscal disabilities because I always think they are one of "my country of disability" how that is seen when I display this abled bodiedness that I don't know how to always navigate. Lastly step 3 was becoming a part of a disability group at MSU it was the first time I really felt I could truely be me and since that experience I have never stoped trying to be genuinly me.

I don't know if this sounds silly most parents I know have ingrained in their kid oh honey you don't have a disability. My parents did tooo and I found that gave me a knowledge that it wasn't true I think differently my thoughts were different they were me they were this thought that kept being trying to be understood by others but sometimes it was like I was talking a foriegn language no one else could understand. Then I meet others like me and for the first time I was talking my language with someone else.

I urn for that communication. I am luck to continue to have people who are of my language. We are a country of disabled and in ourselves I found a home I can't discribe in anyother way. Maybe you have to be mainstreamed and come from a place where the entire time you are searching for someone like you to get it. I love it, I love inclusion tooo so how do we make spaces for people with disabilities to have that community and is the community only created by a jointness of comon communication that is deemed unacceptable by the major public. I don't know but I find that joy in the comunication and it makes me feel safe.


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